Vulnerability is having the courage to show up and be seen. Baring your souls without any guarantees- Brené Brown
Last Tuesday I invested almost 2 hours listening to Dr Brené Brown author of Daring Greatly talking on Oprah’s Life Class on Vulnerability. I was hooked I took pages of notes, tweeted out the many gems that came from both Brené and Oprah’s mouths.
When Brené said : “If you are not in the arena getting you butt kicked I am not interested” Those words stopped me and reflected on my own holding back, those little niggly thoughts it’s not ready, I am not enough, which has led me to be sitting on too many incompletions!
I was uplifted and inspired, I also knew that it was time for me to embrace my own vulnerability and stop thinking it’s:
Not ready, not good enough, how do I know people will buy it, want it , need it, it hasn’t worked in the past! Why will now be any different?
I have so many things that I have started, half launched! I just realised that even my new Healing Artt does not have a link here! It’s time to be brave, really show up and be seen and share my message and ASK for help!
Brené shared what she says are the 4 myths of vulnerability
1. Vulnerability is weakness
2. I don’t do vulnerability
3. Vulnerability is letting it all hangout
4. We can go it all alone!
Here are some of the gems I captured
- Vulnerability is the birthplace of trust, engagement and innovation
- Shame needs secrecy silence & judgment to grow; once YOU speak it an it receives empathy, it goes away.
- Everything works out in the end, if it hasn’t worked out, it’s not the end”
- Shame is such a stresser. It kills quicker than cancer
- “When perfectionism is driving, shame is always riding shotgun and fear is in the backseat.”
- When you can not accept and ask for help without self judgement, you are always doing so with judgement!
- Shame corrodes our ability to trust other people because it corrodes our ability to trust ourselves.
- Being afraid and courageous in the same moment: That’s what daring greatly is about
- Vulnerability is having the courage to show up an be seen
- We can’t be brave when we are not vulnerable
- You can’t have true courage unless you open yourself up to vulnerability
- Vulnerability is a cornerstone of confidence
- Write your story on the arena wall
- Talk to yourself like you talk to someone you love
- Ride the wave and stay in the flow.
- Joy is the most vulnerable emotion we experience.
- Vulnerability is being afraid and courageous in the same moment:
- Life is about showing up and being seen.
- We are are hardwired for connection
- If you don’t know how you do vulnerability, vulnerability is doing you
- When we open our heart space we see ourselves and the world as vulnerable and authentic
- We share with people who’ve EARNED the right to hear our story.
- Vulnerability is a practice, it’s not something you check off a list, you keep showing up.
The Ted Talk on Vulnerability that Brené gave back in 2010 that really allowed her to be seen and has had over 1 million views.
with love and gratitude
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I love Brene Brown. I saw the same episode of Oprah. I haven’t read her books yet, but they are on my wish list! One of my favorite quotes of hers is, “Talk to yourself like you talk to someone you love”. By the way, you ARE good enough! You are awesome! Thanks for the lovely quotes!
I love the quotes/sayings about vulnerability!
I love that being vulnerable does not mean that you are weak or afraid, it also means that you had courage enough to open yourself up!
I just found this blog today, and I will be bookmarking it!
Welcome Xihia,
Yes it is good to see the positive side of vulnerability
looking forward to seeing you here again soon 🙂
I love Brene Brown – she’s one of my favorites. I must find and watch the Oprah interview. Thanks!
Louise,
if you find the link let me know, the one I have is not working
Yes Brene is brilliant, going to get her books
There are some great quotes here and you know what? The only thing to fear is fear itself… so stand up and be counted honey! 🙂
Thanks Louise You brought a smile to my heart and so true 🙂
I feel like I missed out on some of your message because I could not read some of the text especially the ones in yellow. I’ll check out Brene Brown. Thank you.
Julieanne Case
Always from the heart!
Hi Julieanne,
thanks for your feedback i have changed the colors to make it readable. i
namaste
Suzie xx
I know it looks beautiful with all the colors but I’m finding some websites very hard to read. The font is so small, the colors so light. After I commented, I found if I highlight the text, I can sometimes read it better. Thank you for changing it.
Suzie, I’ve never heard of the author/speaker before, but wow! The quotes are great reminders of our vulnerability/humanity. I do believe we’re all vulnerable, just as we are human! But it never hearts to remind ourselves about this, stop brooding and doubting oneself, and just start doing things. 🙂
Hi Karo
Yes Brene is amazing and inspired and uplifted me
great to meet you
Suzie 🙂
Vulnerability usually has such a negative view. This shows that is it necessary to get where we want to go. Put yourself out there & be brave! You are enough!! Thanks, Suzie!
Hi Carol,
yes Carol so true. This is a great mantra Put yourself out there & be brave! You are enough!!
WOW, this post was just fabulous! I watched the video. I had not seen her speak before, and I was feverishly taking notes. Thank you…what an eye-opener!
Welcome Deanna,
Yes Brene is great at getting you eyes open to playing a bigger game.So happy you are inpired
This is fabulous Suzie! Thank you thank you! J x
Hi Julie,
Was great to meet you yesterday, love skype and thanks
Like many, I heard about Brene Brown when her talk first came out. What an amazing message, and I knew how many others were moved as well. The whole topic of shame and secrecy has been one I’ve wrestled with for many years (decades!) It used to have much more power, and I know I’ve made progress, but I have so far to go. I do regularly hide myself and my work, thinking I’m not good enough, not the right type, etc. I know I’m going to be very challenged in this in the coming months, and I am excited–willing to be ready!
Hi Judy,
Know how you feel too about the shame issues. something I have struggled with , often not aware- subconscious at work. I am looking forward to watching your journey of challenge- will ne exciting
Namaste
Suzie x
Brene’ is one of my favorite authors and speakers. I love that her foundation is so scientific and comes from the perspective of being a researcher. Her message is powerful and, every time I read her work or listen to her, I am touched.
Welcome Angie,
Thanks for dropping by and for your thoughts- yes her research makes her work so valid and why so many relate to her.:)
I love Bre Brown. Her quote about perfectionism, shame and fear all hanging out like buddies is a fav of mine but there are many gems that you shared that I was not familiar with. I know that this post is one that I will go back to. I appreciate your passing on your story and the wisdom that seems to be growing with and accompanying you.
Hi Kate,
Thanks for your wonderful inspirational comment I appreciate what you have said. . Yes Bre is amazing and such a gift to the world
Wow – how exciting you got to experience this! There seems to be a common theme I am reading everywhere, and this just further solidified the message to me to take the risk. Really great insights, thank you so much for sharing this wisdom with us!
Hi Jenny,
Yes time to take a risk- and today i drew the Leap of faith card 🙂 Thanks for dropping by
Suzie 🙂
Thank you for this – I will share on Facebook.
I agree and often remind clients that showing vulnerability is a sign of a strong person.
Hi Miriam,
yes it is good to see vulnerability ar strength rather than the myth that to be vulnerable is to be week.
Thanks 🙂
Hi Suzie,
I love this! Vulnerability is something I’m working on. I love the idea of putting yourself out there in the ring so to speak even if it means getting knocked around. Expecting it makes it a little easier. Reading about how you wonder how you can put yourself more out there made me ask myself those questions too.
Just today in fact, I shared a post on my Facebook wall that I thought would be helpful, about girls being treated differently in learning environments. I was shocked to get some very harsh reactions from men and support from women! It feels strange to be causing all kinds of dissention innocently, but I guess that’s how you know you’re really striking a chord! This was a gentle way for me to get acclimated 🙂
Good luck with your journey!
~Christina
Being vulnerable is right where you have to be to be noticed and to create something of value to others. If you are not out there on the edge being vulnerable perhaps you have to re-think what you are doing in this short life!
Hi Ron and welcome to LYLYL
Wise words, thank you for sharing. Yes sometimes we do need to rethink what we are doing 🙂
Suzie, this is priceless. I recognize soooo much of what you say here, in big and small amounts in different areas, but it’s there all the same. I haven’t seen the particular Oprah show you talk about, but I’m going to be on the lookout for it somewhere on line!
Perfectionism, shame and fear in the backseat….oh yes I’ve been there and it can creep up on me unawares every now and then.
Great Suzie, I’m glad you took time off to breathe and you found this.
Hi Elle,
I’ll let you know when the Lifeclass with Brene is on – think it is October- / i haven’t been able to find a replay.
Yes amazing when we stop and breathe how the universe opens with a gift.
Namaste
Suzie xx
It’s interesting that most people associate vulnerability with weakness but as this post shows, it actually takes courage to be vulnerable.
This is such a great resource that you are providing. I love seeing websites that understand the value of providing a quality resource.
Thank you very much and looking forward for more informative articles in the future. Bookmarked!
http://www.nlppowertraining.com.au/
Hi Francesca and welcome to Love You, Love Your Life
Thanks for you awesome feed back. look forward to seeing you here again 🙂
Hi Suzie, Yes Brene Brown is a legend, I have her book and her interview on Oprah is really great in fact I think it is ground breaking!
Thanks,
Mary.
Hi Mary and welcome
Looking forward to getting her books- yes I think you are right it is ground breaking 🙂
Thanks for all the richness in this article. Just writing this article is an expression of vulnerability. I’m just amazing by how you keep pulling off all the layers and moving forward.
What wonderful words Sandra- richness touched my heart. I got that I will be more in the flow of living my purpose and being in joy. Thanks for the encouragement- this layer is a big one I discovered yesterday, so I stepped back- and switched of, read a novel, soaked in a coconut oil bubble bath and today I am going to set myself to Shine and share in September
Namaste xxoo
I saw this series … it was Excellent! I love this one “Vulnerability is being afraid and courageous in the same moment:” For me that is about being real … being authentic. 😉
Thanks so much for sharing Suzie!
Big Hugs! …. And of course we all know “You absolutely, without a doubt, are More than Enough!”
Yes Ellie when we step into the REAL ME and embrace that’s we are enough our courage can shine forth
Yes I do know that I am enough- just need my friends like you to remind me so I can be brave and allow myself to be okay with the vulnerability
love and hugs xxoo
“When perfectionism is driving, shame is always riding shotgun and fear is in the backseat.”
Oh my gosh. That’s the one I’ll be chewing on this week.
Thanks so much for this, Suzie.
Hi Susan,
Yes that one hit me too and has been an interesting few days too as I have become more conscious of Fear riding in the back seat and how it is so limiting
Namaste